Amy and Pam
Keywords: Amy, and, Pam,
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"Please note, the following story has graphic sexual content. If you are younger than 18, please do not read any further. Copyright by the author, feb 2007"
*
This moment, this very moment felt so strange.
I was on my bed with a stupid catalog. I was feeling so empty and lost. The night was so quiet. For some reason, right at that moment I felt that my life was changing. I had one foot in the life of a girl, but the other was stepping toward womanhood.
The catalog was for underwear. I know this sounds silly, but the life-change could be summed up in this simple catalog. Up until that point, I never worried - or cared - about such stuff. But now I needed these things. On a purely pragmatic level, I needed a new bra. All my old bras were too small. This was part of growing up - and it was both scary and wonderful.
It was late, and when I heard my phone ring I was surprised anyone would call me at this hour.
It was Amy. I was immediately excited to hear her voice.
She was home from her father's house, where she had been living since her parents divorce last summer. Now she was back in her mom's house, right across the street. I had talked to her a lot while she was away. And I knew she was going to be back home soon, but I didn't realize that she was back already.
Our phone conversation was short, all she told me she wanted to see me - right away.
"Oh Pam - Is it okay if I come over?"
I replied, "Yes Amy, please c'mon over."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes - Please come over, please. My parents are away so there's no one to wake up. Plus, I really wanna see you!"
She said thank you, and then I hung up the phone.
Something was wrong - I could hear it in her voice. I worried about Amy so much.
We had always been really close, and it had been hard on me - on both of us really - since she had been away. I missed talking to her, and hanging out. Ours was such a strong and close friendship.
But still, I truly worried about her. There was something so unbelievably sensitive about her. Sometimes it made her seem so naive.
But this same thing - this vulnerability, made her who she was. It allowed her to be lovely and kind.
I sat on my bed and waited. I was nervous and concerned.
It was just a minute before I heard the door downstairs. She didn't bother to knock, she just walked in, and came upstairs to my room.
As soon as she walked into my room, I could see how sad she looked.
We hugged and said an awkward hello. I was so happy to see her, but at the same time - I was distressed to see her looking so worried.
We actually just stared at each other for a moment. She had on a simple whit t-shirt and a pair of nylon running shorts.
We tried to make a little small talk. She asked what I had been doing sitting up so late.
I was a little embarrassed because it seemed so dumb, but I told her anyway, "Well, I was looking for a new bra."
"Really?" Amy answered.
"Well, Yeah - I mean, I don't fit my old bra's anymore. Now they're all too small for me."
Then Amy said, "Oh Pam, I'm so jealous..."
"What do you mean?"
Amy replied, "Oh c'mon - remember last summer? When we both wore those bikinis?"
And then I laughed, I knew exactly what she meant. We had actually had a long talk about our breasts, and how they were impossibly small for our age, and we lamented that we may NEVER get any bigger.
Amy said, "I still don't need a bra, I'm just so tiny it wouldn't do anything."
And I said, "Well, now I need a bra, a lot has happened since last summer."
With that, Amy smiled - but at the same time she seemed so sad. I couldn't figure out what she was thinking, but I could tell that something was really bothering her.
I felt a little awkward with the silence, and I finally said, "Now - with my bigger chest, I get more attention from boys."
I immediately regretted saying that. I know how sensitive Amy is about her body and especially about boys.
"Oh god, Amy - I didn't mean anything by that..."
She answered with a faint smile, "It's okay, I just - I mean - it's just..."
"What is it? You can tell me."
And after a long pause she asked, "Could you, I mean - right now you are wearing that sweater, but I would - I mean - if you could..."
I knew what she wanted, and I interrupted.
"Amy, don't worry - I'll show you..."
And I sat up and took off my big blue sweater. It was baggy and thick, and now it was off, and had on a plain white bra. I set the sweater on the edge of the bed.
I said, "They aren't really that big, but they are bigger than they were the last time you were home. I can't believe what's happened in a year."
Amy didn't say anything.
I went on, "Now, even this bra is too small - see?"
Then I sat up even more, so she could more easily see my breasts.
Amy was sitting on the bed with me. And, right then she gave me a happy little smile, and any nervousness I felt just disappeared.
And - I actually wanted Amy to see. And now - with my big sweater off, all I was wearing was my bra, and an old silk skirt. I didn't have on stockings or shoes.
Amy looked at me, right at my chest. She didn't say anything, but her expression was thoughtful and kind.
I finally said, "They are obviously bigger than they were, and to be honest - I ma still not really comfortable with them."
Amy said, "Pam, they look perfectly lovely."
It felt so nice to hear her say that.
I said, "Thank you."
Then I lay back down on the bed again. The house was warm and it felt good to have that big sweater off. Amy sat close to me, at the edge of the bed.
We sat there silent for a little while, I knew she needed to talk.
Finally, I asked, "Amy, I can tell something is upsetting you. If you want to talk - I'm here for you, okay."
And she said, "Oh Pam, I don't know..."
I asked, "What's wrong?"
She said she had a boyfriend, but they broke up, and it was all so sad and terrible.
I said, "I understand..."
Amy said, "I am so mixed-up about everything."
Then, she started to cry.
I reached up and gave her a hug. We sat up together for a while, she wasn't
crying hard, but she seemed so confused.
"I don't understand why I'm like this..."
"Amy - it's okay, Life is confusing - especially stuff about boys, and especially about sex, and growing up and all the emotions around this"
"But you seem so confident and normal."
"Oh Amy, I'm human too - sometimes I feel so mixed up. Especially about
sex. I can be an emotional mess a lot of the time."
She actually seemed really surprised to hear me say that.
Amy said, "Really?"
"Yes really," At this point Amy seemed to be done with her crying, and I
lay back down on the pillow and said, "Come here Amy,"
And she lay down and snuggled in close to me, hugging me.
She asked, "Do you really get mixed up too?"
"Oh god, of course!"
And then she said, "Oh - Bobby and I broke up, and the whole thing has been
so hard for me."
"What happened?"
Amy carefully said, "Well - Bobby was really pressuring me to have - well, to have sex. And, well you know that I'm just so worried about getting pregnant, but he really wouldn't stop trying."
I said, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"No, it's okay - I wanna tell you - really..."
"Okay..." I whispered.
She went on to tell me some details, and there was something so sad in the story. Bobby sounded so uncaring, and so unworthy of Amy. She was having a hard tome telling me this, and I could tell it was difficult.
I said, "I'm listening. It's okay..."
Amy went on, "Well, at a certain point, we would. Well - I would only let things go so far."
"How far?"
"Well - He and I would both be naked..."
"Really?" I interrupted.
"Yeah, and we..."
I interrupted, "What was that like, I mean seeing him naked?"
"Oh - it was actually really nice."
I felt funny asking Amy all of these intimate details, she was so
young - we both were.
But, I was asking from a real place of curiosity, and I felt - I
don't know, I guess I felt honored that she would share these things.
I said, "Amy, I've never seen a boy - I mean, I've only heard about how
a boy can get hard."
Then Amy carefully described exactly what Bobby looked like naked, she described as best as she could what his erection looked like, how big it was, what it felt like and - most of all - how it made her feel.
I was asking a lot of questions and I know she tried to answer them as honestly and calmly as I could.
"Oh god Amy, it sounds so - I don't know, so scary." I said.
"Yes - It was really scary."
"I don't know what I would do..." I whispered.
"Bobby would totally insist on doing some things..." And Amy trailed off.
"What? Like what things" I asked.
Amy looked nervous and didn't answer.
I cautiously asked, "What happened?"
"He made me have orgasm?"
I was astounded. I stammered, "R-really... He did - really?"
"Yes, just once."
I was so shocked. Amy was so young and innocent. I had no idea she would go that far with a boyfriend. But - I don't know - it sounded so mean, it seems like Bobby was taking advantage of Amy. I had known her for so long, and I know how naive she can be. How much she just wants to be loved, and it all just felt so unhealthy.
Amy went on, "Here's how we would end up - I mean, this is as far we would
go."
"Tell me..."
"We were both be naked - and I was sitting on top of him, and he would rub me."
"Rub, like how?"
"He would - Oh god, it was my - He would rub - with his hand - my vagina, and he would press hard on my clitoris."
"Really?" I asked.
She carefully explained how she was sitting, it was on his lap. He was insistent that she stay still, and he would just rub with the palm of his hand.
I interrupted, "Amy, it sounds sort of awkward."
"It was - but - Oh god, it felt so good."
"Amy, it sounds so - I don't know, I can't imagine..." I said.
Amy continued talking. "This happened, just the other
night. We were doing this thing, what I explained, I was sitting right on him, and he was rubbing, and it felt really amazing. And..."
"What?"
"He had his other hand, it was touching my.
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Keywords: Amy, and, Pam,